Coaching Tip: Choose Empathy over Sympathy

In early April I had a bad fall. I was lucky it was not truly serious, but I did do some damage to my back which is taking time to heal. As I write this on a Sunday morning, I had to cancel my usual bike ride as I overdid my recovery efforts by carrying my bag around 18 holes of golf two days ago. Good news was that I could swing the clubs, bad news is that by carrying my bag, my right shoulder and neck is, well, I’m taking painkillers every four hours.

Now, I could feel frustrated at not being able to get out on the bike, but instead, the thought that occurred to me is that healing will come faster if I am “in a space of allowing” rather than resisting, to go with it, listen to my body, relax in and through it.

Now, this then leads me to a coaching tip, which begins with considering how you choose to respond when someone shares with you that they are in pain through loss, difficulty, injury. I was taught my a mentor :

Sympathy means “I feel what you feel”, whereas Empathy means “I get what you feel”

Sympathy can be a self-indulgent emotion, to imagine yourself in their shoes and feel bad with them. However, if you seek to…