Did you have fun?

Don’t force your kids into sports. I never was. To this day, my dad has never asked me to go play golf. I ask him. It’s the child’s desire to play that matters, not the parent’s desire to have the child play. Fun. Keep it fun.

Tiger Woods

My two oldest sons were each dedicated competitive swimmers for around fifteen years, both representing the Cayman Islands at the Commonwealth Games.

She first told me that swimming is a sport where it is likely that the swimmers often feel pressure, particularly around their races. They know their times and targets, so do their coaches, so do their parents. Her advice was, first of all, for the parents to focus on the “dry” issues, on rest, food, general wellbeing, and to allow the coach to focus on the “wet” issues, ie on training, swim technique, as well as those times in races.

She then gave me that magical advice, which I have then gone on to share with literally hundreds of swim parents over the years. That advice was that after any race your child swims, the only words you say to them be:

Did you have fun?

Oh, and in 2014, when my oldest son was 20 and competing at the Commonwealth Games, it was held in Glasgow, Scotland. We managed to find tickets for a number of family and friends and they all crowded around him as he came out of the pool…